KaTie

It seems as if it was only yesterday when the moon of the dark sky was hiding behind the thick cotton clouds of July. Back then when everything was covered with deep shadow and the town was silent and cold. I would watch the tiny bright crimson flame stood and dance on a thread. The swaying tongue of fire moves my shadow, dancing up to the ceiling. I stared at it and remembered random things about him, about us, and about everything that has used to be.

Drawing imaginarily the lines of his face and considering everything that had happened would wet my eyes and bring sudden tears to flow on my cheeks. It feels like everything was torn apart, miserable and helpless. It’s the feeling of abandonment and loneliness as if everything had gone away when only one person had left. The emotion was insanely heavy and broken. It was sensitive and frustrating.

“Damn bastard.” I wonder how a foolish bubbly guy had able to make me hurt this much. It was stupid. Maybe the idea of being dumped and fooled after you had given everything to that undeserving person had made me feel this bitter. I was left hanging helplessly and empty. Hell! I was dumped and trashed. I thought that hugs and kisses would chase away loneliness, anxiety and exhaustion. But hugging a dummy had made me feel emptier.

In the middle of confusion, I was stocked inside my box. Sucking anger, soaked with reasons, Anticipation for bliss has given up the ghost. Wishing that someone would come with his shining armor and be brave enough to look through deep inside me, save me from this feeling of insanity, pull me up and carry me away from my heavy heart and bitterness. I ingested my emotions and digested my weariness. I lay down my head and looked deeper into my dancing shadow. The feeling was constant until dawn,when my dancing shadow found its mate.

"When We Die"
Bowling for Soup

Well, I know that it’s early
And it’s too hard to think
And the broken empty bottles
Are reminder in the sink
But I thought that I should tell you
If it’s not to late to say
I could put back all the pieces,
They just might not fit the same

Nothing’s worth losing
Especially the chance to make it right

And I know that we’re gonna be fine
And the tattooed mistakes
Are gonna fade over time
As long as we live, time passes by
And we won’t get it back when we die

Well, I know it’s been years now,
And I don’t look the same
And the hopes and dreams you had for me
You thought went down the drain.
And the room feels so empty
where my pictures used to be
And I can’t say that I blame you,
But you can’t blame me

Cuz nothing’s worth losing
Especially the chance to make it right

And I know that we’re gonna be fine
And the tattooed mistakes are gonna fade over time
As long as we live, time passes by
And we won’t get it back when we die

Come over
Come over

Cause I gotta know,
If I am doing this all on my own

Come over
Come over

How can I show you if you’re not here

And I know that we’re gonna be fine
And the tattooed mistakes
Are gonna fade over time
As long as we live, time passes by
And we won’t get it back when we die

And I know that we’re gonna be fine
And the tattooed mistakes
are gonna fade over time
As long as we live, time passes by
And we won’t get it back when we die

Come over
Come over

Wooohooohooohaaaaawwww

stared.
i looked up to the ceiling and stared as the night of darkness ingest my weariness.

i have watched how my friends turn into strangers. my love ones has turned their backs on me. it seems like there’s no body left for me to rely on. i feel so alone.

until the feeling of loneliness has swallowed my sanity.

tears.
frown.

i miss the smile on my face.

Bubbly

Colbie Caillat

Will you count me in?

I’ve been awake for a while now
You got me feelin like a child now
‘Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts in my toes
And I crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

The rain is falling on my window pane
But we are hiding in a safer place
Under covers staying dry and warm
You give me feelings that I adore

It starts in my toes
Make me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

What am I gonna say
When you make me feel this way
I just mmmmm

And it starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

I’ve been asleep for a while now
You tuck me in just like a child now
‘Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I’m comfortable enough to feel your warmth

And it stats in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feelin’ shows
’cause you make me smile baby
Just take your time now
Holdin’ me tight

Wherever wherever wherever you go
Wherever wherever wherever you go

wherever you go
I always know
‘Cause you make me smile
Even just for a while

New Year’s (’08) Resolution:

• Iwas bisyo
• Go to mass DAILY
• Observe propern diet (aw..)
• Sleep earlier
• Study harder
• Be optimistic
• To learn more about controlling my emotions
• Be a good friend
• Be a kind sister
• Be an obedient daughter
• Be respectful
• To make good choices

*i’ll be more careful in everything i would think, say and act.*

"lack of self control is a sign of weakness"

—learn from my mistakes and from the mistakes of others. there is no experience that is only to be wasted..Learn from everything!

Learn… Live… and Love.

^_^!!!ENJOY LIFE!!!^_^

"everyday i soak myself with reasons to forget him..
everyday i lie.
everyday i try to find strength to get me through
and yet,

everyday..

i die."

I hate how coffee turns into an addiction and how it keeps you up all night.
how it burns and makes your heart beat fast.
especially how it makes you crave for its rich and sweet promises of grains, milk and sugar.
moments later, it puts you into a melancholic mood of coldness.
and before you realize, it has consumed you, even before you have consumed it.

empty.

hollow.

bitter.

then again…

you crave for another cup.

just like love…

badtrip.

I’m never good enough. I’m good for nothing. I’m good at nothing.

bullshit!

i had a fight w/ my sister plus my parents think I’m irresponsible and I think I’m about to lose my best friend.

My games suck. I fail to do my errands. I have low grades. I cannot prove anything to anyone!

i feel horrible.

i just wanna stop.

just give me a break!

yesterday is always a day away. ha ha.. it’s always behind me. i can’t bring good things back by my side..

(nonsense)

Damn…

I don’t know what to do.
    I miss you so much.
I’m in middle of confusion.
    I’m stock inside my box
Where your shadow was my only friend.
    But now, my shadow had lost its mate.

I’m scared. Foolish. Weak. Imprudent…

Assurance has vanished.
     Confidence gone astray.
Anticipation for bliss has given up the ghost.
    My self-esteem has faded.

I’m drained with loneliness.
    I feel weary. I feel sad.
I can’t find my way back…
    ..back to you.

it has been a while.
just like the fo0d digesting in my stomach, life has eaten and absorbed its environment…
…but still, starving for satisfaction and pleasure.

days are passing by so fast.. my time is running.. I’m almost left behind.